


how he'd kick it in the head when he was twenty-five

by stefonzolesky



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Gen, but I thought I might as well post it, this is BULLSHIT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-22
Updated: 2018-03-22
Packaged: 2019-04-06 12:48:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14057325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stefonzolesky/pseuds/stefonzolesky
Summary: Gob Bluth has given up far too many times.





	how he'd kick it in the head when he was twenty-five

**Author's Note:**

> idk if the format is great but i found this in my folder labelled 'things i'll probably never finish' and finished it up lol here ya go. idk if the format is too much or whatever but it Exists how fun.

**Gob Bluth is forty-five years old.**

He thinks about that fact a lot. Not because he feels old, though sometimes he does, but because he was never meant to make it past his mid-twenties.

The song _‘Careless Whisper’_ was released when he was fifteen. Michael made fun of him for listening to it all the time. It’s not like it resonated with him or anything, it was just… something. To this day, he still isn’t sure why he did it. Not a lot of stuff sticks with him for very long.

 

**_Gob Bluth had a lot of friends in high school._ **

_He was obsessed with popularity; he suffocated himself in it. Now he’s claustrophobic. It’s nobody’s fault but his own._

_When he turned seventeen, he crushed up a bunch of Buster’s medication that he most definitely didn’t need, but it felt like chalk so he washed his hands and tried to forget about the entire ordeal. Needless to say, he never forgot about it._

 

**Gob Bluth promises himself that he’s brave.**

For some reason, though, he can never believe himself. He toughs shit out, but it must be easier for everyone else than it is for him.

Lindsay used to laugh at him because he couldn’t make it across the monkey bars at the park near their house. He spent hours practicing until his hands bled just so he could prove to her that he could do it.

 

**_Gob Bluth was never secure._ **

_Despite the number of friends he had in high school, he dropped almost immediately after. Maybe it was the fact that he never went to college. He might never know._

_Overall, having friends was more something to brag about than anything else. They might as well have not been his friends. Most of the time, he wasn’t even completely sure how he ended up talking to them in the first place._

 

**Gob Bluth isn’t completely happy.**

He thinks that maybe he should be, because there isn’t really a reason for him to be unhappy. He _isn’t_ unhappy. He’s just… not as happy as he could be.

He hasn’t been this scared since he was about to get married, except this time he doesn’t know why he’s scared. Instead of figuring it out, though, he ignores his problems and focuses on getting some food down his throat.

 

**_Gob Bluth liked to play pretend._ **

_It was an easy escape, but it became something to be ashamed of as he got older. By the time he was almost eighteen, he had buried the idea of pretending pretty far down._

_That’s not to say he stopped pretending, though. He just stopped making a game out of it. He started pretending because he had to, and at some point he lost any idea of what was fake and what was real. When he finally sorted himself out, he swore he would never pretend again. It didn’t work._

 

**Gob Bluth doesn’t understand most things.**

He can usually figure it out, more or less, but overall he’s just confused. One of his biggest faults might be that he hates to admit when he doesn’t know what’s happening.

Though, if he were to actually admit each time he was confused, most people would be more fed up with him than anything else. So he tries to figure it out himself, and it’s always his fault when he inevitably fucks everything up in the end.

 

**_Gob Bluth cared more about popularity than he should have._ **

_That’s probably the reason he didn’t have any real friends in high school. People talked to him, he was likable, but that’s not an accomplishment._

_The real accomplishment was pretending that he didn’t need those friends. That he could take care of himself on his own. He always told himself that, but it became less and less true as the days went on._

 

**Gob Bluth probably cares more about himself than he should.**

He’s always cared a lot. It’s how he was raised. Put yourself before anyone else. He doesn’t really understand where Michael got his “family first” bullshit from.

It’s not until he’s probably nearing the end of his life (with the way he’s been living, at least) that he realizes he’s been nothing but selfish and at this point, he really isn’t sure how he can fix it. It’s too late to try.

 

**_Gob Bluth never knew where he was going._ **

_In school, all anyone asked was, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Gob never knew how to answer that question._

_He found some sort of solace in magic, and just ran with it. Magic meant he didn’t have to deal with all of his problems. He could hide. So he wrapped his hands around the idea of magic and kept it close to his heart._

 

**Gob Bluth** **_still_ ** **doesn’t know where he’s going.**

He’s forty-five -- _(God, that still hits him.)_ \-- and if anyone asked him what he’d rather be doing with his life, he’d still say that he doesn’t know.

He’s forty-five and he’s pining after someone who doesn’t love him, he’s running a company that he doesn’t know how to run, and for the first time in his life he’s considering throwing out magic because it’s a painful reminder that nothing works out the way he hopes for it to, ever.

 

**_Gob Bluth has never been proud of himself._ **

_Sure, he tried to be, but it grew extremely hard to take pride in anything that he did when nobody in his family gave a shit about him._

_Occasionally, he would get praise for something, but it was never what he wanted. Always for keeping his head out of arguments or doing things that his parents asked him to do. Never for perfecting an illusion, or managing to get Lindsay’s hair unstuck from something (yes, he may have got it stuck in the first place, but seriously. He deserves some sort of recognition.)_

 

**Gob Bluth thinks he’s unlovable.**

It’s not like he hasn’t been told that every day of his fucking life by the people he cares about most in the world. It’s not like he hasn’t been left to fend for himself.

That’s why he resorts to pining, in the end. And he hates himself for it. He hates himself because he knows that nobody could love him, especially not this person he’s pining after. He doesn’t talk to anybody about it, he keeps his head down, and he pines silently. It sucks.

 

**_Gob Bluth has given up far too many times._ **

_As a teenager, he threw away one project after the other. He fixated on something for a few months and then moved on. Everyone was always a little tired of it._

_That was always one of the things he hated most about himself. He never knew when to quit. He never knew when what he was doing was a lost cause. He just… became obsessed with it so quickly. And then he’d ditch it, and that was that._

 

**Gob Bluth thinks that giving up one more time can’t hurt.**

Giving up, he thinks, is better than pining. Giving up is better than being angry, or scared, or whatever other emotions he’s feeling that he may never be able to name.

It kind of totally sucks _,_ but he doesn’t know how to handle the situation other than giving up.


End file.
